Doesn't It Feel Like Christmas?

In response to the title of this post? Hell no. It sure as hell doesn't. Christmas was all of yesterday and the last time I seen snow was ummm... hmm... Halloween? Yea man. Fuck this. This was in front of my apartment circa Halloween 2011.



What the hell is going on? Wait. Why the fuck am I complaining? I'm good off of that ratchet snow. Its bad enough that its OD cold out here (Don't debate me). I need something to get me in that Christmas-y mood (despite its the day after Christmas. Whatever) before I start this post. Kick it Destiny's Child.



So yesterday I survived yet another split holiday with my boyfriend. Those joints can get quite difficult if not planned correctly. Like. You dead have to map out where, what time, and how long you are going to stay there to make sure you get all the necessary elements of see family, small talk and catching up, exchanging gifts, pose for family picture, and swift exit to keep all parties happy. Gives me a headache when I think about it. Uuuuggghhhhhh. Holidays get more complicated these days. But, hey, I had a great time this year. Keep reading, I'm not done writing yet dammit. I'm gonna go on about this stupid Christmas party.



So... I experienced the first Christmas party at my job. That sure as hell was a fail. I mean, the food was good but anyone reading my tweets will tell you that I was sending incessant cries for a superman to come save me from the perils of coworkers. I swear. Why do I have to make an effort to socialize with ya'll? I'm pretty content with the friends I have. Just let me save the community, get my paycheck, and be on my way. I'm not interested in seeing ya'll after work and no, I'm not giving you my personal cell phone number let alone my office extension. Just everything made me upset. I had an annoying coworker say "Hey what do you plan to do in the long run?" Then when I tried to explain it Barney-style to her she was say "That doesn't make sense". Bitch, I didn't ask for your opinion. I was tempted to say "My life goals are to make more money and not end up like you" but my professional side said "Let's not get fired quite yet. We need to stack a lil more so relax". So I walked off from her midway through her babbling on about what she wanted to do in the long run. Bitch, you're old. You're "long run" ends like tomorrow b.



I swear surviving this Christmas party was like a fucking game of Jumanji. What the hell is going on? Someone even decided to spike the eggnog (which I don't drink. What the fuck is eggnog anyway? Sounds like a new STD). How did I know? A certain someone had a bottle of vodka that was clearly just opened and now 25% full hidden under the table. Oh. Swag ya'll out, huh? Eggnog lead to the whole office playing Dirty Minds. This inappropriate game is where one person uses clues to describe an action or object. Now the catch is that the clues have sexual connotations. An example is "What fits neatly between your breasts, works best when tugged, and inserts neatly into a hole?" Now if you had a twisted mind (somewhat sort of like mine) you'd say a penis. However the REAL answer is a seat belt. Liquor plus this game? Yea. I'll be right here in the corner yo.



The last level of this never-ending chaos is when a coworker who clearly quit came back for the office party. I like to call her "Ultimate fighter" because she has this weave that seems to never be done but she tries to convince everyone that she just got it done. Nah. You're weave is tired of fighting mama. ANYWHO, Ultimate fighter came and she crashed the party with her thick ghetto accent and tacky self. Like... You quit 3 weeks ago and you didn't bring a dish. I just wanted to call security the whole time. Although she sounded below my pay grade, something in me made me feel like each moment I listened to her was community service for me. You know, giving back and what not. The funny thing is that her presence not only annoyed me, but other people yet my boss welcomed her back like we were supposed to have a parade for her or something. If I was the boss, shorty woulda had to holla merry Christmas from the office hallway. Fuck. Your. Plate. Oh and happy kwanzaa, bitch.



Now the apex of this Christmas office party (besides the ending of it) came after when a coworker of mine reenacted a tradition that I used to do. She picked a certain number of ornaments, wrote a different characteristic on each one, and had people blindly pick one ornament out of a bag. Its kinda a karma thing. Whatever characteristic you pick out is said to be the one that manifests itself the most throughout the year. Funny enough, I picked one. It was "insight". I'm not sure what the hell that means right now but I'm kinda intrigued what the year will bring me. Insight? How? To who? To what degree? I guess imma have to wait till 2012 hits. In the meantime, I have restarted that tradition. I have a strategic list of 18 people who will participate. I say strategic because I the people I have chosen are not at random. It is all for a reason. I cannot wait to see how it turns out. Sometimes the best gift you can give your friends is good karma and I think the people I have chosen deserve it in soooo many ways.

But the morals of writing this whole post? Hope for good karma in the year to come and FUCK OFFICE PARTIES. Till next time....

**taps mic** Is This Thing On?!?!?

Did... Yall... Miss... ME?!?!?!?! Of course not... Some of ya'll don't even know who he hell I am so just forget that question. Anyways, where the hell have I been? I've been in the magical place where ratchetness meets professionalism and where liquor flows from the fountain of youth. Anyone who follows me on twitter (find meeeee @C_Michele1L shameless plug) will notice the difference between my Sunday thru Thursday and my Friday/Saturday swag. Sue me. I work hard. **tity boi voice** Its mine, I spend it. aaahhhhh waaaiiitttt my song is on!!!! **booty pops in chair***



Well... soo... yea... That music video looks kinda like the parties I've been going to for the past 2 months... And thus explains my hiatus... I've lost my license once, debit card twice, acquired things ranging from champagne flutes to chicken nuggets to car keys (mind you I didn't have a car for a while) in my purse on my ratchetty evenings, and had a slew of sit-downs with my friends that have always started out with "ok, so what exactly happened yesterday?" I know its living trife but hey YOLO (You Only Live Once) naaaahhh mean?!?!?!?!?!


I've been partying, oversleeping, working at the "plantation" (yes, that is what I call my job), studying in between, getting calls from everywhere, and making and breaking appointments. Its what I do, its how I live. I'll get over it tomorrow. However, reality started hitting when I was studying for the GREs and leading up to the GREs. It was that tense feeling that built up in my soul of "Damn, I'm really going back to school". I'm kinda excited, kinda not. I'm excited because I took off a year like I stated in December 2010 and now I get to embark on a new journey. This will officially be my second chance at med school. Graduate school will give me the opportunity to delve deeper into the realm of health, let me move up another pay grade, and give me the chance to get the grades I deserve for med school (finally) minus the extra-curricular drama I experienced in undergrad and the added stress of "just trying to get a degree". Fuck it. I have full benefits and a decent salary now. If I decide to back out of grad school I have other avenues I can drive down (**kanye voice** "Who gon stop me haaannnnhhh"). I'm not excited because it officially marks that I'm getting older and I have to slow my life the fuck down. Like by 75%. No more exclusive restaurant openings and invite-only events. No more VIPs on the weekend. No more "lemme take the day off so I can rehab my system because that liquor yesterday had me feeling like I was incepted". Smh. Its bout to be extra boring. The only happy hour imma be experiencing is the hour of sleep I'll get between work and classes. Yea. I said it.


Now what can I say to the rest of ya'll? Well... I just wanna encourage ya'll to take advantage of your 20s. We are in the only time in our life (besides retirement) where we can be selfish. You have money (Don't front), no obligations to anyone else, and at an age where doing something stupid isn't looked down upon. Think about it. You have a drunk night now, people will say "damn you had a good night". You have a drunk night at 40, people are already googling the nearest AA sessions for you as a Christmas present. Don't debate me. I didn't ask for your opinion dear reader. lol.

Ok. Now lets get back to the topic: DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY. You like to read all day? Fuck it. Go for it. You fly all over the world. Good. Bring me some shit back for me. You attend church every Sunday. Amazing. Stay devoted. Add me in your prayers (Every ratchet needs a blessing here and there, no?). Whatever the hell it is, I want you to do it to the fullest (that sentence sounded weird but I don't feel like changing it right now). Focus on you. Focus on the amazing memories you can make. Focus on preserving the moment now more than any other time in your life. You need to experience. You need to grow. Just make sure you don't get caught up in some craziness that'll land you in jail or something (well, more like don't end up in jail with a record. Sometimes, you just get arrested for the dumbest things). It'll be worth it. Trust me. And when you get to that point that you are done you're gonna be so happy you took advantage of what life has to offer: from travelling to partying with different people to extreme sports like hang-gliding. As for me, I gotta cut back (Key word cut back, not stop. **waves rolex** "Thought I told you that we don't stop"). I did exactly what I stated I was gonna do for 2011: jump start my career, re-up on bigger and more connected people to add to my contact list, and just go crazy. Going out and all that was apart of the "I've been in undergrad way too long so I deserve this" 2011 package. So next time you go out, have a shot for me. You work hard. You deserve to have a great time :)

I See You...

Meet me at the top, where the air is crisp...

(played this a while ago, but I heard it and fell in love all over again with the track... Here is the short video)

Ambitious Girl- Wale

In Hindsight....

Yesterday, I had a bad day. I spent about 4 hours in the studio. Not just any studio. Pole dancing class studio. I had to relieve stress and working out was my only option. I needed to get away from the daily chaos that I continually placed myself in. I did my routine to the same song I was planning to use for the competition that I have been training for the past 3 and a half months. The same competition that I dropped out of 2 weeks ago. Partly because of external problems, partly because I felt I wasn't ready. And the Virgo in me wants nothing less than perfection. But that's not what I came here to talk about. Excuse me while I play this as I write. It is just a beautifully crafted song that always gets me in the zone....





For almost two years now, I have been taking pole dancing classes. It has provided me with a platform of strength training, competition, alternative workout, fun after-work activity, etc. Now, before you say "Hey Christina you trying out to become a stripper?" I want you to hold your tongue and keep reading because that IS NOT what I aimed to do. As in previous blog posts, I explained that I used to run track in high school. I was also involved with ballet. My strength was in track. My heart was in ballet. Track gave me a release for my physical feelings of stress and anger. Ballet gave me a canvas for self-expression and art. It was like when I ran I converted my feelings into competition but when I danced I felt like I lost myself in the music and I drew stories in choreographed movements. How could two things totally unrelated relate to each other? Well... As high school progressed, I dropped out of ballet. I didn't have the body for it. No, I didn't give up. I just didn't have the body type that would allow me to compete on a more intense level. And that is just the reality of that craft. Puberty concluded and I had curves other than the smile on my face. Thanks to dad's black genes they trumped mom's asian ones which caused me to inherit thick thighs. I was tight because I remember how much I've wanted to dance ballet professionally when I was younger. But, hey, no worries. I loved my curvy self. I felt like it gave me an edge to my black-asian image. Like, how many black-asian girls you see with thick thighs? (Ok, let me turn down the volume of my conceit. **Wooossaaaahhhh**) So, in between the demi-plie's and releve's, I decided it was just one of those dreams that I had to let go. It happens. No sense in fighting genetics. That's like a battle you will not win. Lol.


Even though I wrapped that dream up, I decided to focus on track. It became my everything. I can even remember excerpts from my college application essay that talked about how running track changed my life and the parallels I made between the stages you go through in a race on the track and the stages you go through in life. I even compared morals to Gatorade. That's how serious I was. Anyways, three years ago I was told by my orthopaedic doctor that because of my long- and mid-distance training from high school and in college (We did an average of 30+ miles a week >_< ) I developed bad nerves in my lower back, twisted kneecaps, and chondromalacia patella. My heart dropped. It was as if my world just started to disintegrate. I looked at her with the "What the fuck are you trying to say" look on my face. And before you know it, she confirmed my biggest fear.... that I would never be able to compete in running again. It was me giving up my dream before I could even create a map to get there. It. Hurt. But what could I do? I can't correct all three problems and think that I was going to be able to run like I used to. That wasn't feasible. At All. I started gaining weight partly because I was depressed about my running condition, partly because I could never fulfill two of my dreams, and partly because I was confused as to what to do next. This story not as depressing as you think.


WHY THE HELL AM I TELLING THIS STORY? **shakes head** C'mon baby. Keep Reading. Two years ago, I decided to take a pole dancing class. I was bored. I seen an article in a magazine about it and it's what drove me to try pole dancing. I remember doing my first class like "I can do all those moves that those strippers do". And that's where I was wrong. Pole dancing and stripping are TWO DIFFERENT THINGS. In pole dancing, it took cardio training, a million different crunches, pull-ups, and endless push-ups to actually excel and be able to craft a routine. Pole dancing became exactly where I found the medium to fuse the two things that held my sanity together all these years. I had to use the leg, core, and arm strength that I used in track to execute the different moves. Plus, I have the opportunity to use my competitive mind in small competitions. Then, I had to put a STRONG emphasis on flexibility and elegance. Moves had to look fluid as if it was easy to execute. That's where my ballet training came in. 2 years and training at 3 studios (2 in Philly, 1 in NYC) later, I found something that I can compete in despite my irreversible injuires and physically express my feelings. It infuses me with the same euphoria I had when I balanced the two activities in the past. **Insert "Swish" sound here** I'll probably be doing this in the future and trying to elevate my level of flexibility and strength. One day I may even compete in the larger more intense competitions. Don't be surprised. I told you here first.


OK, CHRIS, REALLY. WHAT IS YOUR POINT IN TELLING THIS STORY? Well, I'm glad that you asked. I got three of them. So, listen up.

1. As you have seen through the progression of my story, things happen throughout life. The very things that make us happy and complete us may be obstructed by various challenges. Obstacles that appear before us may seem unconquerable. Permanent roadblocks may show their face and prevent us from achieving our original ideas. Right when you have a plan, fate laughs at you and says *In a Diddy voice* "This. Is. The. Remix. Remix". Although we may get discouraged at first, it is our responsibility to go out and an find alternative solution. Ok. So you think the dream died. But, guess what? Its not the end of the world. Fate might remix your whole situation but, in reality, things happen for a reason. Stop focusing on why it didn't go the way you wanted to initially. I want you to focus on discovering what fate has in store for you. Maybe you don't believe in fate. Well whatever it is, believe in it. Pursue it. Pursue happiness and peace of mind. The only person who can really make you happy is yourself.

2. I've said this before. I've watched women let themselves go (weight-wise). I know its hard. Some have kids, in school, too many jobs, relationships, getting hit by the failing economy, struggling to find yourself in whatever way, etc. Just remember your body needs attention too. Re-discover yourself through fitness. I know its easy to try to be the superhero. But before you save everyone else, remember to save yourself. I don't care if you stay home with those dusty Pilates tapes, P90x, Insanity, etc. Or if you want to be adventurous with Bikram Yoga, salsa, boxing, mixed martial arts, hip hop dance, zumba, or even pole dancing like me. Have some time to look good. You work hard. Why not look good while doing it?

3. Last on the agenda is something that gets on my nerves that I am guilty of doing when I first started. PLEASE DO NOT EQUATE POLE DANCING WITH STRIPPING. THEY ARE TWO DIFFERENT THINGS. Stripping is where you drop it like its hot on a pole for money to ratchet ass songs like Travis Porter's "Bring It Back". Pole dancing has a whole pole dancing federation with rules and competitions and such. It involves more strength and yoga principles than you will ever imagine to effectively duplicate the moves. I've had the honor to train under known dancers like Karol Helms and Bunni Luv. The women that I train with on a weekly basis are ordinary women. Young women eager to try a new activity, college students, wives, mothers, women in graduate school, women who work in corporate america, nurses, and other professionals. Its really not what you think until you try it. Still don't believe me? Well, here are two videos that I have for you from YouTube (Nuh uh, don't you DARE close out this post. Watch the videos. Trust me on this. You made it this far.)

This first one is my instructor, Bunni Luv's, APFC 2011 competition submission video. It is taken in the very studio I currently train in 3-4 days a week. And I train with her about 2 out of the 4 times I'm at the studio. (If you tryna come out for a class, its Master Jay Moves/Philly Pole Premier at 1520 Samsom Street in Philadelphia, PA. Its cheap and they have classes for men and women. I've conned some people to come with me already lol)



This second one is a video that one of my old instructors told me to look up. Rhiannan Nichole. She is also in the same competition Bunni Luv will be in October. This is her APFC 2011 competition submission video.



Yep. Don't tell me "Oh I can do that". If you don't have any training, chances are, you can't. Some of ya'll can't even do a push-up correctly. BUT, I hope you got a better outlook on things. Till next time....

Ya'll Need Couth For Christmas....

Before I start this entry, I needed to add music to get into my mode. So, I figured this would be the most appropriate song by one of my favorite artists. "Fuck Me Pumps"- Amy Winehouse (play it while you're reading and trust me you will be like "Oh, now I see why she chose this")





The other night (Friday) began the first weekend of my birthday month. September. I do it big every year. Last year, I partied in 3 different cities in one weekend. The year before that I had a big extravaganza (somehow almost got arrested. Long story in itself. But the most important thing is that I don't have a criminal record, right?). But this year? I'm doing events EACH and EVERY weekend in September. Cities will be determined as I go along but, hey, people take over the whole day. I take over the whole month. BUT I digress from the whole purpose of this entry.




So going back to the other night, I seen the most ratchet-esque things in the club that made me feel old (Even though I know I'm quite far from it, thank you very much). I seen women in bra tops and skirts silently plotting on the next guy they wanted to buy them a drink, girls barely in clothes grinding on the floor at the drop of the "No Hands" beat, 20 inch weaves with glued fake eyelashes that look like black construction paper with slits in them, chicks throwing their legs in the air in dresses as they danced with guys in an inappropriate fashion, and an unendless crowd of people that looked like they chased their last tequila shot with their morals. It. Was. So. Bad. I couldn't understand this environment. What the hell was going on? I don't remember the club being like this. I didn't know whether I should leave or throw condoms out into the crowd (cuz they all look like they were one step away from a pregnancy scare). As I downed another drink, I decided to sit with my girls, observe the crowd, and just take in the comedy relief. I wish I could've wrapped the DJ up and grabbed the microphone to point out the following things.


For one, ladies please don't go out in these streets in these risque outfits. ESPECIALLY if you don't have the body for it. Why the hell are you out here in lingerie and stilettos? Do you think that this is cute? What are you trying to prove? Do your friends love you? Because they didn't love you enough to think it's ok to let you leave the house like that. An outfit that is way too tight, got your thong peaking out, titties spilling out your dress, jeans that look like they are suffocating your unkempt abdomen, and dresses that reveal your cellulite-plagued legs will only gain you disrespect from the next dude. You got mad because he grabbed your chesticle while you were dancing? Its not right and I'm not defending him but, guess what? That's the message you are sending. Your outfit is not a reflection of your inner intentions but it is the first thing guys will see when you meet them. You carry yourself like a hoe, then you will be seen as a hoe. Point. Blank. So get off that high horse of "You're not gonna disrespect me because I'm a lady" if you walked out the house in 6-inch heels with aluminum foil wrapped around your hips and pasted to your chest as an outfit. Nope. Your mic has now been silenced. Be classy. Be sexy. DRESS FOR YOUR BODY TYPE. You have your goodies all out at the club that you don't even give him enough mental room to wonder. Get your pasties OUTTA here!!!

After convincing the DJ to give me a fake birthday shoutout (I like to do that alot) I bobbed and weaved through the crowd to get back to my seat and my custom drink. I was just amazed at how some chicks were losing their minds out here. One girl was in a dress grinding in a chair by herself to some song that came on and when a guy came in to fill her lonely dance partner void, she had her legs all up in the air, dress rising up, all that. It. Was. Just. Tacky. Ladies, please have some self respect. I don't care if you are drunk. That is NEVER an excuse. Liquor releases you're inner inhibitions. So, if you were hiding from everyone that you really were a hoe, its probably going to be revealed to the general public when you are under the influence. And guess what? THERE IS NO REASON TO PUT YOURSELF OUT THERE LIKE THAT (unless that was what you were shooting for). Are you desperate? Lonely? Low self-esteem? Going through sex withdrawal or some other made up ailment? Chances are you have answered "NO" to all of the above questions. There's dancing and there is one slow grind away from trying to get pregnant in the club. Understand the difference. All that extra-ness is highly unnecessary. Most of all, have fun ladies. Carry yourself better.

As I continued to repeat to myself in the club that "I'm not about this nightlife" with my eyes closed and clicking my gold glitter stilettos together in the spirit of drunkenness and in the hopes that things would change, the third thing I wanted to point out came to me as I grazed by a conversation. LAST BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY, I need you women to STOP trying to find a man in the club. There are way too many things wrong with it. Here's just the top two reasons:

1. According to various and abundant male sources, guys aren't going to the club to find a wife. They are out there to choose, be chosen, and/or have a "happy ending" by the night. Now you over there can front and say, "I'm looking for a friend". Oh really? Think deeper into your motive and it will boil down to exactly the same thing "to choose, be chosen, or "get lucky". Stop complaining you can't find a decent man if the club is the only place you look, sweetie. I simply cannot trust the validity of your statement.

2. (Now this is my opinion) I see the club as a "hostile" environment. People are in rare form. You got dudes in suits, button-downs, expensive colognes, VIP, fresh cut. You have the ladies in perfectly crafted makeup schemes, stilettos, revealing dresses, fresh weaves and/or hairstyles. Everyone is a walking facade. Yes. Everyone. Because 9 times out of 10 you DO NOT look like that at 10a on a Tuesday morning at work. Save the smoke and mirrors. **screams into crowd** "YOU'RE NOT REAAALLLLL!!!"

When I got home that night, I felt like I needed to retire partying altogether. This is not what I remember. At. All. I used to come to the club to celebrate. To create laughs that will make me smile years from now. And dance, even if its by myself, in an environment other than my house (don't front like you didn't catch yourself in the house dancing at any point in time of your life. I KNOW YOU WERE IN THAT MIRROR TOO!). And what did I see throughout the night? Drunken struggle. Everywhere. We need to do better ya'll. I'm serious.

Intermission

I like this song. Maybe its the instrumental that draws me in. Whatever. Listen to it ----> HERE "Secrets"- One Republic

Well, you ever wonder what kind of motions the other sex goes through in a breakup? Well, here it is. wait. Let me give you a situation we can all relate to at one point in time. Girl loves boy. Boy loves girl. They have a happy relationship. Boy starts getting scared of commitment (in some sort of way). So, boy breaks up with girl. How do each of them handle the breakup? Well here it is in 5 stages based on what ive seen:

<--- Stage 1: He's chillin. He felt like he made a sound and clear decision. He's quite satisfied. Its all about his happiness at this point.



Stage 1: She's confused, crying, and trying to figure out "Where did we go wrong?" I guaruntee this is probably her right now trying to contact him--->



<------Stage 2: He's out and about at the parties, living life. He's not focusing on the issue. Matter of fact, its not even an issue. He's channeling his energy elsewhere.


Stage 2: She's still thinking about the situation. It still makes no sense. This is the "I'm slightly depressed" stage ------->

<----Stage 3: The party life is slowing down. Reality sets in. He starts thinking about his previous actions. Maybe that wasn't a good idea.

Stage 3: She's pretty much over it. By this time, she has vented to her friends and she's accepting of what happened. She's ready to move on. She's over it at this point ----->





<---Stage 4: He's thinking about the situation. Maybe I do want to be with her.

Stage 4: She's moved on. Out at parties living life trying to find a replacement for you. ---->





<---Stage 5: Your calling her, texting, emailing but she's not in the least bit interested. Your decision to re-commit is too late.



Stage 5: She's not interested in you anymore. You see the new guy she's with? That's not you---->




And THAT Ladies and Gentlemen concludes this halftime show! Stay tuned for the 3rd and 4th quarter.

The Situation----> The Reaction

As always I was tweeting my life away and @DaniGirlBX (click the link and check her blog she is an AMAZING photographer) brings up the discussion about a story she heard. And yes, this story was so absurd I sure as hell had to blog about it.

-----Disclaimer: All names have been changed to protect the identity of those mentioned. Whatever that means. I don't even know them anyway. I just wanted to blog about it. Onto the story though-----

This is how she tweeted the whole thing to me:

"So Lauren has known Joe since high school. They got close, best friends almost. He would tell her about his girlfriend/ sidechick problems and vice versa. He always had this one sidechick (that they both went to high school with). Now Lauren and Joe always liked each other but they always had a boyfriend/girlfriend repectively. When they were finally single at the same time they went for it! The sidechick chilled for a little while. About a year after Lauren and Joe got together she pops back up with texts making for the dick. He must've gotten tired of the said texts and said to Lauren 'Babe let me fuck her 1 more time to shut her up' (Exact words to be determined, however, that was the gist of it). And (this is where I get confused) she said to go ahead (once again, exact words aren't available but the principle of her approving it still stands). Off he went. About a month later, Joe gets a call from the sidechick saying she's pregnant and she's keeping it and wants to be with him. 9 months later, he has a son....by a chick he refuses to be with. And last weekend (Joe and Lauren) celebrated his son's 2nd birthday at her (sidechick's) house."

There were so many "Nah son's" I blurted out upon reading this story. THERE IS NO WAY THIS WOULD EVER GO DOWN!!! EVER!!!! First of all, EVERYONE in this party is wrong in so many ways. I think we are going to start with the sidechick. Firstly (yep I said firstly), she was wrong in thinking that she could just switch up her role. When you are dealing with gray-area relationships (I say gray area because you have an undefined title other than girlfriend/boyfriend) you are usually confined to that role. For example, in this case, sidechick thought she could move up to pending girlfriend. Nope. Once you are a sidechick always a sidechick/booty call/ etc. (in only that relationship of course) and that is how you will be viewed. Then, the sidechick was all the way wrong for trying to come around again and attempt to sabotage Joe's relationship. MUST YOU BE A HAPPINESS HATER? **Dusts off seat** Yes, you hunni, I found you this. I don't see why some women/men look to jeopardize other relationships. You aren't with that person soooooo why must you be so bitter? Angry birds you are.

The next person on the stand is the guy, Joe. Sure, he let his girl know about the texts and yes he wasn't messing with said sidechick during his relationship but WHAT IN YOUR RIGHT MIND GIVES YOU THE AUDACITY TO ASK YOUR GIRLFRIEND IF YOU CAN SLEEP WITH YOUR EX-SIDECHICK ONE LAST TIME?!?!?! That STILL blows my mind everytime I read it. He CLEARLY doesn't respect his girlfriend NOR his relationship to even fathom the feasibility of that request.... THEN you're really going to have sex with her.... AND you get her pregnant??? I would've been in handcuffs by the end of that request (I wouldn't be able to control my temper in that situation, I know it). You know what? He got me here at my desk all irate and I don't even know him. Let me move on before I catch a case....

The last one we get to talk about is the girlfriend, Lauren. Oh Lauren, what did you expect in this situation? So you think he's going to instantly drop his sidechick that has been around for a while just because you showed up and decided to have a whole relationship? Not necessarily. You knew she existed. You know he's had her around for a while. You even knew her indirectly. You can't quite expect for her NOT to pop back up sometime somewhere. I'm actually not surprise the sidechick made a guest appearance a year later. They usually don't fade away that quick. If the sidechick feels as though she has enough leverage to distract your man, she WILL be back. And if she distracts your man successfully: 1) she cannot ever be trusted and 2) your man wasn't worth being with in the first place. Simple as that. But what irks my soul even more, is the fact Lauren approved of Joe's request. What kind of... you know what, I'm just going to restrain myself. There has to be some degree of low self-esteem for a woman to let that happen. I just couldn't have the thought of MY man running with his old breezy just to get it on one last time. That's where the line of comfortability is violated. Then, I have to swallow my pride as he lets me know he's pregnant? Nope. It would've been time for me to go. Somehow she stayed with him... long enough to be right beside him at the sidechick's house for their son's birthday party. Nope. WOULD NOT BE ME. Love ain't THAT strong.

I think the point that I am driving at in telling and criticizing this story is to make sure you understand the role that you play in relationships, whether it be the sidechick (I hope not) or the girlfriend. Also, don't let someone cross the boundaries for your relationship (as in Lauren's case). The most important point in telling this story is to know when the relationship is worth working at. I understand most of us haven't experienced love or may have been in love once, but there are some things that happen in relationships that are indicators that this is not one of those things that are worth saving. Just be vigilant. You will know when its time to go. Although, this situation seemed to have so many facets to it they all happen in real life... just not necessarily at once. AllI gotta say is don't let it be you that I blog about. Lol.