In college, I've learned and heard it all. I learned to love, live,hold, hate, communicate, cheat, steal, cry, reveal, expose, be resourceful, fight, be humble, speak, out, strive, fail, succeed, splurge, budget, credit check, let go, connect, move on, and grow the hell up. But its more than that. And here it goes...
I learned the true meaning of an all-nighter before an exam. I learned that one bad grade does not ruin your lifetime career goals. How your whole world crashes down when you felt like you put your all into something when you really failed. How important energy drinks are to the college diet. How sad it is to lose someone or something. The real meaning of "broke". That peer pressure really exists. How people use hallucinogens not for individual corruption but social bonding. I learned that when people say "I was drunk" its NOT a valid excuse. How to deal with the real world. How to be revolutionary and stand up for a cause. How we are one step from life-changing events, especially if its parenthood. Friends come and go, but some are there forever. Firsts happen in college. Giving back to the community is fulfilling. Working and going to school is a religion, everyone follows it. School is a culture clash of people, ethnicities, styles, music, and stories. Learning what "type" you are and what you like. That 90% of men are superficial and then ironically have the the nerve to look for more substance afterwards. Men and women cheat equally, but don't get caught equally. Manipulation can be good and bad, and that's something you have to decipher yourself. It's easy to lose yourself. Its never easy to let go of your first love. I mean, let's be truthful, 85% chance if you are dating someone less than 6 months they probably have more pictures of their ex/ last serious relationship than they have of you even though they claim to be be "over it". To never let someone abuse you mentally, physically, or emotionally. What it is to really act out a "bust your windows" episode and risk being arrested. The joy of achievement. The glory of walking across that stage and obtaining that diploma. The sadness and anger when you find out your are ONE class short of graduation. The worry when you don't know how your gonna pay for rent AND next semester.
And then it got personal...
I learned how one person can let anger build up to the breaking point of no return. And after thousands of tears and the 2nd suicide attempt I knew it was time to realize. And after walking into my therapist's office that next afternoon it was apparent that I didn't need any assistance for my past but all I needed was someone who cared enough to talk to and listen. Then, I learned never to give a man the power to let me down. To never let a woman ruin my life with mailicious words. To not expect everything to go my way. To not think I can do everything by myself. To be dependent in an independent mannerism. To care for people even when they don't care about me. That life is more than what we think. Speaking your mind weighs more than grudges. No one's childhood is perfect. To be more supportive and open in relationships. To stop being the chick on the side or friend with benefits. That heartbreak happens sometimes. That HIS past shouldn't affect OUR future. That being better and prettier than the last chick shouldn't be the main focus in our relationship. That tears are temporary and smiles are forever.
To never settle.... I'm capable of so much more 'cuz tomorrow is never promised. And that, that was college.
