Nothing has compelled me to write anything until about now. And this is something that was brought to my attention. And the title overshadows the topics I decided to cover....
"BORED"
I have come to this odd and maybe moreso trivial conclusion that problems in relationships come about when people are bored. Yea, I said it. When people focus too much on a relationship it seems as though their life starts becoming consumed with it to the point that they analyze it too damn much. And you may say to yourself "I am still lost what the hell are you talking about?" Think about it from a girl's point-of-view. If she starts getting consumed with the relationship and starts analyzing she is gonna wait for something to go wrong or she will find something wrong. And if you think that's not your girl, wait until she gets too caught up and you will know exactly what I am talking about. I figured that out when I started listening to people's problems. They came out to have the same incessant complaints: "We don't spend enough time", "He doesn't call enough", "He's not into me", "I don't think he loves me enough", "he's not romantic enough", and the list goes on. Maybe I am just a tad cold-hearted and I know how to naturally detach myself emotionally from certain aspects, but in reality we can't monitor the other person every minute, every second and we can't expect everything to be perfect and we can't sit and wait for something to go wrong. Yea, so I've had my own reserves in my own relationship, but thats partly my fault. I'm just afraid of giving my all once again and watching it fall to ruins. But, everyday I am being proven otherwise. So, I've learned to relax. We gotta learn to take speedbumps as they come and in the meantime cherish all the good times. If he/she's busy find something to do in the meantime 'cuz time apart makes the heart grow fonder. Relationships are better when you have things to talk about. Keep it interesting and it'll last longer.
"Opening Up"
So a question was posed to me on my way home from work. My homegirl wanted to know how to get a man to open up to her. She wants to know everything about him, especially how he feels about her/ where she stands in the relationship. Well, honestly I don't know if I can answer this question in its entirety but I'll try. You can't force it. Its something that he needs to do on his own. Its kind of a trust issue. If he trusts you enough, he will let you into that part of him. Not saying that men don't trust women or women don't trust men (sometimes that could be the case, lol) but it is quite a big step. Its kind of like love: you trust a person with the capability of breaking your heart at any given moment with the confidence in them that they won't do it. I suggested in trying to open up to him to see how he reacts. I mean, its not garunteed that he will reciprocate, but then again opening up is a 2-way street. Its hrad for me to open up, but when I do I trust that person to not judge me and be very understanding. Sometimes you have to sacrifice to gain. But, an even more simple step to make strides toward opening up is being honest. Just give it some time and when he's ready it will happen. No one falls in love overnight and no one is going to trust you with their inner story within the hour.
"Battle Scars"
Perfect title as I listen to Alicia Key's "A Lesson Learned". It reminds me of my very first blog, lol. Anyways, once again my homeboy, is having this reoccuring problem with the ex that he can't let go. Honestly, I just don't get it. How can someone continue to have deep feelings and crave to be with someone who blatantly says they were never in love with them in the first place? Or someone that continues to treat them as an option? Am I MISSING SOMETHING??? I can only help answer questions that people pose to me, NOT put a bandaid on battle scars. Its one thing when you can't let go. It took me 4 years to let go. And once I did, I LET GO!! I was caught up in having someone be there for me when I needed them to be and someone to listen to me, but the fact of the matter was we should've just been friends from jump. It would've saved me alot of lost time. But, when I really thought about it, he supplemented me and didn't complement me. SUPPLEMENT= when you think that someone completes you, COMPLEMENT= someone that you are compatible with that enhances you. Why do I say choose the latter? Someone who complements you is not only your significant other, but your best friend, your support system, and your lover. That's that "Michael Jackson" Love I once talked about... Hmm, I wonder what my man thinks he is.. Well, I don't wonder actually... He knows which category he falls in.
Just remember to Stay active, Stay Honest, Let things take their course, and JUST LET GO....
