The Exclusives: From NYC to LAX, MIL to TYO, and PAR to MNL

I like this song because it makes me feel a lil sassy when I'm on my way anywhere: "Check It Out!" Nicki Minaj and Will.I.Am ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pqky5B179nM )

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First and foremost, I am not one to be a regular fashion blogger. Its not my thing. If anything, I don't really fit into any category. I like to jump around from bargain deals and vintage to high-end fashion. It really just depends on my mood. So, I was sitting here trying to think what I really wanted for Christmas and I thumbed through some of my favorite sites for clothes, shoes, and accessories. Then I thought about it... Since I haven't gone shopping in months and my budget is strictly tailored around paying my bills, why don't I put my readers on to some sites they can use. And some of you can use it mainly for Christmas presents this year. Now, when I shop, I mainly shop online because I DO NOT have the patience to stand in line, look around, and all that. The only time I really do that is when I have an event to go to and I have no idea what I want to look like. Because when I want to dress up, I imitate a vision NOT a person. For example, if I feel like being in my punk-rocker mode, I am going all out.... That's just what I do... I treat every outfit like an opportunity to exhibit another part of my personality... Back to the topic, I'm about to put you on to a couple websites that originate from my favorite sites in USA, Japan, Italy, France, and the Philippines... I'm only giving you a taste... Can't let ya'll imitate the whole swag!!! lol (NOTE: Make sure you right-click the links to "Open them in a new tab or window").

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I am not a fan of really spending $500 on every outfit just to impress someone or to say "You ain't up on this". Because honestly, no one REALLY cares. Yea you get that first 5 seconds of "wow, she got that (insert brand here)" but at the end of the day that reaction fades and you are left with looking stupid because you attempted to ruin your credit yet again on another outfit WHILE poppin bottles in VIP. Meanwhile, you barely have groceries in your house (Oh yea, SHOTS FIRED AK-47 style). Ask yourself, is that REALLY necessary? So I'm going to give you websites that run the gamut from low-high priced. You gauge how you want to spend your money.

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I am a proud fan of H&M and Nordstrom Rack http://shop.nordstrom.com/c/nordstrom-rack . The reason for this is that they really have items that you can utilize to imitate high fashion for a reasonable price. PLEASE don't sleep on Nordstrom rack because they really have some good stuff but people fail to realize its not as much as you think. And catch them especially on Cyber Monday (Monday after Thanksgiving), Christmas, and New Years'.... It... Gets... Poppin...

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The next one is for my ladies: corsets. You may be feeling a little Rihanna-ish in the "whips and chains" mode (rolls eyes to her even mentioning that after the Chris Brown incident). But, here you can add a cute leather corset to your outfit to make it a little edgy from Zahira's Boudoir http://www.zahirasboudoir.com/

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My personal favorite in fashion is the Harajuku-style from Japan. For those of you that may not be familiar with Harajuku, it is a style of dress that involves a lot of bright colors, dramatic outfits, out of the norm hairstyles, punk, couture, and mixing and matching different fashions. Its a constantly changing street style. That's one of the reasons why some of the people who know me call me Harajuku **wink** But if you want to try it out, you can start with these Sassy 'N' Punk handbags http://www.sassynpunkboutique.com/products/bags or these amazing never duplicated rings from SouZou Creations http://www.etsy.com/shop/SouZouCreations ... Try and find someone who has THESE in their jewelry box.
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I love this site because they carry amazing must-have vintage accessories for less whether it be Jane Austin Cuff bracelets to veils that you can put on top of your head to add a little drama and couture to your outfit... Go to Etsy.Com http://www.etsy.com/

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This is something you can get your brother, guy friends, or boyfriend. Straight from Tokyo, you can get an exclusive watch for less from Tokyo Flash. They take Binary watches and digital time to a COMPLETELY new level. And the best part is they have some that are less than $100. Help him stunt on them in 2011 with one of these. http://www.tokyoflash.com/

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For those of you men and women that have that paycheck saved up from the whole year and are craving for that high-end fashion I have a couple of sites just for you. From the UK, we have the Doll Boutique http://www.dollboutique.co.uk/ which features some of my favorite brands like "American Retro" and "Stolen Girlfriends Club". If you want to go more local (as in boutiques in the US check these out: "I Don't Like Mondays" http://www.idontlikemondays.us/ or "Pixie Market" http://www.pixiemarket.com/

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If you want to get the inside deal on what cologne every man NEEDS to have, my pick of the season is Yves St. Laurent La Nuit De L'Homme. Now this cologne is to die for!!! Intense, bold, and sensual, this cologne is constructed with bergamot, cardamom, and cedar counteracted by notes of lavender and vetiver. As the perfect evening cologne, this is GARUNTEED to keep the girls off him. I mean, it comes in a black box.... That itself, already speaks volumes....

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For those of you interested in a taste of Philippine female fashion you can take a quick look at one of my favorite stores when I'm back home: Ukay Manila http://ukaymanila.com/ . It gives you all the clothing pieces she needs to pull off that girly-girl look

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For those of you visiting the Couples' Capital of Paris, France anytime soon here is a place you and your significant other can for deals on designers like Bottega Venetta and Balenciaga. I suggest you visit Reciproque http://www.reciproque.fr/en/ and Catherine Max http://www.espacemax.com/showroom.php This is where sites like Ebay are manifested into an actual store... You can find yourself that extra Hermes scarf or that pair of Jimmy Choos that you thought was sold out... Oh yes, vintage and bargain shopping are universal across cultures.... Don't get it twisted... Sadly, these 2 are only limited to in-store shopping but if you want to get an idea of what these stores look like click away!!!!

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THE LAST BUT NOT LEAST is an upcoming designer specializing in women's fashion. Her name is Tiffany Renee. She does it all: dresses, gowns, shirts, etc. She tailors to YOUR measurements. She can style you and make you look like the next celebrity. Her name grazes fashion circles and her expertise is transferred by word-of-mouth. But now, you get an online inside look on her latest and what could be the next addition to your (or your female friends') closet. For pricing and any inquiries contact her directly at DesignerTiffanyRenee@yahoo.com Check her (yes, she is modeling her OWN designs) out below:

That Caught Me In A Daydream/ Filled With Subliminals

There I was looking at the wall... The indentations in the wall started to blend together... and there I was... Thinking... My body relaxed and I reclined a lil more in my chair. And as my mind switch into its poetic state, it scrambled through my mental ipod to find the right track that became my medium to expose my innermost thoughts. Track 33? Perfect. This set the mood for me to float back into its own enigma that could neither be explained nor comprehended. Feel what I am talking about: (Fantasize- Floetry http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OdUdx31e_74 )
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I couldn't get you out of my head and this was not one of those moments that young girls have when they are superficially infatuated and physically attracted... Nope, Its deeper than that. Its a crazy feeling and my attraction for you stems from mental stimulation thats intellectually orgasmic... *closes eyes* How is it that you don't have to physically be in my presence to influence me to have you in the crevices of my thoughts? Its interesting I say... Now, that right there is quite impressive. I applaud the effort that was never directly put forth... Proceeding on...
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Maybe I just can't get out of my head our conversations from the past and present... In my past life I was so used to manipulating the men with no aspirations beyond things like what their next purchase was going to be branded with the most popular insignia out or the "newest thing that no one has yet" *rolls eyes* I couldn't stand them so they were treated as I saw fit. They were just trying to be mere copies of Kanye West, Drake, or someone famous like that instead of being examples of what other men should mimic... They don't get it and probably never will... But you? You have plans. You have ambitions. And everytime you tell me/write to me about them I could do nothing but feel your passion in what you have in store for your future and listen intently on how amazing you are... Its not that I simply admire the person that you are destined to become, but rather I'm elated at the person you have evolved to be. The man that catches my eye is the one in progress, not the one that has reached the top of the mountain. It is only him that can appreciate the woman admiring him. I learned from a wise woman that if he's a good man, he will realize she not only wants to help him grow but also grow with him despite time or distance. In addition to this, I live by the belief that the men that become great think outside their mental zipcode. And you? You think beyond that arena to the point I might need a mental passport to make sure we are on the same plane. I mean, I'm not calling you crazy *laughs* I'm just saying your level of thinking is not what I'm used to. It just amazes me that its physically possible that someone understands my thoughts... Its... new... And then I think about how we are in two different places executing two different blueprints but somehow stay parallel on the same escalator to success... I fell even deeper in thought...
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Its funny that we can have a great conversation for hours and put it on pause for hours/months/days/years and press play as if no time passed. Zip codes change, time zones can be altered, the numbers on the clocks can hastily pass before my eyes but its as though things just never change. Because I can know people for years and still not have that effect. It baffles me. Your the type to ask me how my day was, wonder what I'm thinking, hear my stresses and never hear me, but you listen... and remind me of how great I am and give me words of wisdom to bring me back to a plateau of balance. But know this... I have given you all the keys to unlock the many levels of internal secrets that I keep... But I haven't presented you with all the doors to utilize those keys... Thats just my internal defense mechanism... Its a gradual process... I guess I'm afraid that if I give you too much that I make myself too vulnerable... Being from a dynasty of strong women its hard to willingly expose all the cards you have in your hand in one shot if you are unsure that you are going to win... Its like when someone has a dream that they are standing naked in front of every person they have ever known... Its... scary... You can read me... You know when I'm lying and when there's something wrong or when I have something I really wanna say but I hesitate.. It makes me... Nervous... I'm accustomed to continually creating walls to make sure that doesn't happen but you see through them like a glass door... It... makes me wonder... But in the meantime, I can't just let you see my every thought.. Not quite yet but in due time... Just... trust me...
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Please don't think that my admiration for you is interpreted as love, but rather I have love for you... Very different... Its just that... Your mystery keeps my mind going like a run-on sentence and I can't help it because its not only that you are everything that I can imagine for a potential but a best friend. Mentally, I'm free from all possible judgement that may exist.. That's how I like it... I get to be ME... You see me the same way I see you... Even though you don't say it, my intuition confirms it. We all know that a woman's intuition tells no tales... I can travel the world ten times over, speak a new language, physically change but I can never change in your eyes... If anything, you notice all my positive traits even more and appreciate the person behind the facade... Deep down inside I KNOW that if, in fact, something ever happened between us, you move on, or things just go awry that you won't just disown me or forget about me... I will still have a best friend I can confide in. That, right there, means more to me than anything in this world... And although our lives travel on different paths intution gives me that feeling that our destinies will intersect like a parallelogram... I mean, it has proven once before so I don't doubt it... All I can do is just... Wait...
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And as I come down from my high of deep thought of inner feelings mixed with a medley of poetry those same indentations in the wall start making sense again and the professor is staring at me asking "So what do you think, Christina?" I was aware that I was caught in my own oblivion so I just quickly freestyle an answer that sounds like it was relevant to the topic of conversation. Eh, it kinda worked. So, as I evaded that situation of possibly looking stupid with an answer that PROBABLY didn't make sense, I smiled contently. Gosh, I need to pay more attention in class and stop daydreamin'.... That's what deep thought does to me sometimes...
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My mental playlist kept going and shuffled to something that made me smile even more...
(The Ambitious girl- Wale http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Go_NpsHLatY ) ***exhales deeply***

Inner Convo of Temporary Insanity

Days get shorter... Weather gets a bit cooler... Schedule gets a lil tighter... And im here damn near pulling my hair out with tears in my eyes because school is in session and I'm getting stressed... I think thats the side of me people don't see. They see the girl who is always on the comeup and prepared.... But, in reality, I'm the one having a mental breakdown because, as usual, I have filled my schedule to the brim and I'm getting overwhelmed unsure if I can fulfill all my appointments, my meetings, whatever is scheduled on my agenda that day... And here I am, at 11:15p, chillen in my clothes from work, both IDs still around my neck (one from work and one from my internship), having a staring contest with my textbook, laying on my bad, trying to figure out why my week is going downhill and calculating how broke I'm gonna be on my birthday, all the while reciting word-for-word one of my all-time favorite rap songs from when I was younger: "Affirmative Action" by The Firm [NAS, Foxy Brown, AZ, Cormega] (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7xRmrOLFjqo) Like really, why is everything going down this course?!?!?

I woke up at 630a, went back to sleep and damn near missed my class..

(10a) Go to class and my lab partner is a jerk. I swear she just kept talking about herself like it was an effin reality show. Like really? I would rather watch a Bad Girls Club marathon filled with ignorance and no aspirations than hear you speak. Like, I don't care. Don't you major in running or something? Cuz, I know it can't be anything that requires too much thought process. (Lemme continue with my rant before I attempt to go on how much I hate this uneducated chick cuz she almost got formaldehyde thrown on her while we were dissecting. Please don't test me because if I go in the bathroom and switch up into my all-black I may summon the asian!!!)

(1130a) Putting the agenda back into perspective, I go to internship downtown and the people were great but everyone seemed aggravated in some sort of way. I was too. It was just everyone exuded some type of inner stress. I know I was. Downhill we went.

(3p) Back in class. The professor (that I happened to call Captain Crazy) went about her smart, sarcastic ways trying to convince everyone that her opinions were right as usual almost made me jump out my seat at her "Mean Girls" style everytime she got smart with one of my answers. Miss, don't test me. I probably do more in my free time than you do in your career as academia. I can't with you... no, not today.

(5p) At work, get my 2 weeks notice of "Yes, you're getting laid off because of budget cuts but the good thing is you are eligible for employment". Thanks. I roll my eyes and go back to my desk because as far I knew my term was good till the 30th, HOWEVER, you felt it was quite necessary to sever me a week early. Some of my coworkers were like "Oh, Christina, its only a week!" umm listen... Its only "a week" to you if you have another source of income. This, right here, IS my ONLY source of income... My source of living... The reason why I'm able to prance around like the world is great and brag about bills getting paid. One week = One less paycheck = money loss I need to make up or stretch to cover October bills = A reason why I may be broke on my damn birthday to sacrifice for my financial freedom plan. Please, save me my soapbox moment because if I have it at work I might get fired THAT DAY.

(1030p) Home. Debating. Strategizing. Making things work when it may seem impossible. Trying to remain cool in a world that will burn you up the moment you fall in the fire if you can't handle the heat. Am I gonna let it? No. I know inside I'm stronger than that. But now, at this moment, Im just all over the place... Just let me marinate in my misery for a moment.. smh..

Ego Trippin' and Not the One By Nikki Giovanni...

***Thumbs though playlist*** I need to summon the moment real quick... Ok. here we go... ***Presses Play*** Woman Like Me- Beyonce' http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=otn-TrGXISM

Now let's give a topic that will excite your intellectual crave.... Love... Ok, yea its an overused topic but what do you define as love? Is it a kiss? A hug? A gift on valentines day? Being there for someone when they are in trouble? Does it not exist? Is it a feeling or a state of mind? Maybe both? Is it a love between parent and child? brother and sister? Where is the line drawn between having love for someone, being in love, and being in love WITH the idea of being in love? Oh, so now I got you thinking... Proceed on...

I think that love is constructed on tiers. It has many different degrees depending on the situation and who you are loving or rather attempting to love. Like for example my love for my boyfriend Is waaaayyy different than a love I may have for one of my friends, whether they be male or female. The love I'm going to go into is love between two people that can stem from dating or however method you may have come together. THAT Love is like a friendship on fire... Its like having a deeper friendship with another person with the inclusion of intimacy... And that right there in my opinion seperates the difference between having love for someone, being in love, and being in love with the idea of being in love. If you're missing any of the elements of the aforememtioned definition it can dictate which one you have. If you have love for someone, that can just mean a deep friendship or just a basic friendship. If your in love with the idea of being in love that may just be intimacy or lust that you confuse with love. You believe that physical attraction and interaction serves as a sufficient foundation that you forget that love is way deeper than that. So, you end up forcing yourself to conjure up the idea that your in love when, reality is, you don't even have a friendship with your significant other to keep the relationship going. So, that when passion between you turns cold and when the sweat between the sheets dries up, you end up hurt because you tried to believe you had something that was never really there... I'm just saying.

And then.... There's really truly absolutely being in love. That is a complicated feeling beyond measure... Its like being on the same intellectual plane... Its being the first to be there when they need you... Its understanding that you can't change the other person and learning how to except all their flaws... Its never asking them to change the way they look, act, feel, and think... Its the understanding that not everytime you talk it will be grazed with LOL's and smiley faces.. Its learning how to entirely trust them when you can't be around them and knowing that they wouldn't violate your relationship... Its about mutually shedding a little of your ego so you can both grow together and move forward with each other... Its being able to put aside all sexual contact from time to time to actually have an intellectual conversation... Its letting each other indulge in their dreams even if it means putting your relationship on hold... Its knowing that they have the power to break your heart at ANY given moment but being confident enough that they will not do that... But I mean, thats my personal definition...

My point is whether or not you agree with my definition or analysis is quite your prerogative. My thing is, know what YOUR personal definition of love is so you can decipher if your in a healthy relationship or not. It can be the deciding factor of whether or not you should really be in that relationship. Know your parameters for love because that can play a pivotal role in categorizing who you love, who you settle for, and who you're meant for. Let that marinate. I know what my parameters are, do you? ***Steps off Soapbox***

Committment

Someone told me this... And to this day... I'll never forget...

Committment
Committment is what transforms a promise into reality
It is the words that speak boldly of your intentions
It is the actions that speak louder than words
It is making time when THERE IS NONE
Coming through time after time after time
Year after year after year
Committment is the stuff that character is made of
It is the daily triumph and integrity over skepticism

Le Francais...

"Personne ne ce sait que l'avenier nous reserve"

"No one knows what the future holds"

In My Mental Asylum Of Thought Again...

Today was something a little more than any other day. It was hot but somehow a perfect balance between humidity and heat. I did 2 things I haven't done in ages: 1. Sat on my porch and 2. did some cross-stitch work. I found a picture that I didn't finish cross-stitching from almost 5 years ago. It made me think about how I was losing things that I used to love. And not material things such as those that were stolen away from me this week: i.e. my cell phones, laptop, credit cards, clothes, or shoes. But rather, the hobbies I loved indulging in like learning, reading, cross-stitching, sewing, singing, poetry writing, dreaming, star-gazing, planning, and thinking. Yea, those things. It seems as though I'm letting life consume me rather than consuming the joys of life. I guess my priorities fell off a little. That can be fixed.

Anywayz, I took my cross-stitching, pen, and paper to the one place I knew I could think: a park. I write the best when I'm in my own mental asylum of thoughts. So, I sat on the swings as I cross-stitched as I stared at the blank piece of paper on the ground. I was brainstorming the most significant thing I would be writing of my college career. Not a dissertation, paper, final, none of that. It was my letter I was drafting to convince Temple University administration as to why they should grant my request of being commencement speaker at the 2011 graduation ceremony.

Its not a request that I thought of one day to put on any resume' or something that I seek for personal gain, but rather a dream of mine that I've had for some years that means more to me than my college diploma. It's moreso a gesture to represent all the "wars" that we, as students, have fought on a daily basis. These "wars" are ones that no personal statement can summarize. I started thinking about all this after an in-depth Gchat convo I had with one of my good friends who now resides in London. We shared personal experiences that a merely a small representation of what students go through everyday. And if he ever reads this, I thank him for being one of the reasons as to why I decided to start this venture on this day.

Now, my dilemma in starting this letter was how to catch the attention of administration. There are so many things I can and want to say but all I could think about was my purpose in achieving this feat. My GPA isn't stellar and my academic history isn't spectacular, but I have convinced myself I am the appropriate person to deliver this speech. I am the first out of all childhood friends to graduate with a university diploma. In my close to 23 years, I have seen enough to start my own reality show. I have been exposed through teaching elementary and high school kids the realities of life. I have experienced funerals for many friends that were simply trying to make it. I have survived abuses in all 3 categories, mental, physical, and emotional. I have been affected by women just like me. One example I remember is the Spring 2010 semester when me and Gina were talking about how happy we were that grant writing class (a VERY intense class) was over and how we were so close to graduation. I remember laughing about how I had one more semester and she had 3 more weeks from graduation. I remember saying "Congrats in advance. I'll see you in class next week". And you know what? The following week I was hysterically crying with my peers because Gina was shot by her abusive ex-boyfriend the weekend following our conversation. I walked out the classroom early and seen another of my peers crying and telling me that could've been her because she is in the SAME EXACT situation. Gina never got the chance to walk across that stage and its hard to swallow because she is one of many that I personally knew that never made it to their college graduation.

I remember shedding tears for the unknown. It could've been out of worry, people who let me down when I really needed them, financial hardship, how and IF I was going to school the next semester, or simply how I was going to eat that week. Many of those times I experienced. I remember having to fight other people's battles while fighting my own. I was the strong person for all my friends, their source of encouragement, or the muse for hope to make it even though in my time of solitude I wasn't even strong for myself. I even physically saved my best friend from her abusive boyfriend. And thats my reality.

And its interesting because these are only a FEW reasons as to why I deserve this honor. These are only a FEW of the "wars" that I have encountered. I am just one of many whose stories remain a mystery. But I want to deliver a speech that no one will ever forget. One that celebrates those that have made it thus far. One that the student body will be moved by. Yet, most importantly, one that they can resonate with and be inspired to perservere. As I fervently continue to cross-stitch and run through my mental rolodex of influential quotes I know that it all starts here... with this letter... with this blank piece of paper...