Anyways, anyone who knows me well can tell you that I am a thinker. And for no apparent reason, I have been contemplating this for a while now: "What is this thing called love?" Now before you even exit out of this site, relax... Read it through before you think that its another one of my blog posts that I rant on about how things are going awry... (insert ghetto girl voice here) 'cuz it ain't like that this time around lol.. While you are at it, throw this track on to kind of set the tone for what you're about to read: "Speechless"- Alicia Keys ft. Eve (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Re0SRdBs4v4) Scroll down and act like you want to read.. lol..
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Personally, I believe that love itself is a confusing and abstract concept. It is something that we cannot physically touch, see, hear, smell, or physically feel. HOWEVER, its effects are beyond measure. We conjure up this weird, warm fuzzy feeling out of nowhere and it can result in heartbreak, depression, unmatched happiness, memories, etc. But, some people are scared to fall in love. Scared of the unknown and abstract? I think that is quite preposterous. But, if you analyze it further it is quite interesting why people are scared... Keep up because I am about to drop some knowledge on you that is a mix of my own observations and my grandmothers famous words. I promise it will be interesting....
Nowadays, people are just straight up scared to fall in love. Why? Once upon a time men were regarded as heroes, conquerors, and providers. Somehow and somewhere down the line that all changed. Women became their own heroes, their own conquerors, and their own providers. It was as if we didn't need to be protected anymore because we felt that we could handle it. We felt as though we were dependent on ourselves (in most cases, that is true based upon own own upbringing). Then, it just evolved into being scared of being dependent on an emotion, let alone another person. Women started to date without even having the intention of dating and left broken hearts in their path. Men stopped caring as much, started getting lazy when it came to impressing women, and just opted for the "easy" females. Chivalry was dying, pride started dominating the scene, and THAT's where it all ended. (In the words of my girl Sarle') You have a bunch of single people who are scared to fall in love because they are too fearful to lose enough of their control to find it. So, in actuality, who are the cowards now? WHO is REALLY losing out? <-- You see what I did there? lol *
Pressing on, Love works in a variety of stages. In order to achieve a good relationship, it is necessary for people to deal with their own issues on life, love, past, etc. before they even think of adding another person to that melting pot. Trust me, insecurities kill a lot of potentially good relationships. I've seen it happen... Many a time.. If you don't deal with your issues you end up carrying unnecessary baggage on a flight that you thought you were ready for and, before you know it, there will be an unscheduled landing before you get to the destination you planned to reach (Once again I say, you see what I did there? Analogies baby, its all about analogies). Once you have successfully did a spin move around that step, you are not quite ready for a relationship. You gotta think about what it is that you are looking for. What do YOU want out of a relationship? Is a relationship for you at this point? Do you have a type that you are looking for? You have to define the parameters you are looking to fill but BE REALISTIC. FOR EXAMPLE: Ladies, DO NOT run around talking about you want a man who makes 6 figures when, in reality, you know DAMN WELL you don't make anything near 6 figures. Guys, stop choosing a female based upon what she wears. Because my grandmother said, "If you choose a woman by what she wears, you will be doing laundry for a lifetime" (Chill, that's the Asian knowledge...lol)
Mentality plays a HUGE factor in relationships. I think love between two people works in wavelengths. People grow in stages. For example, one person can't be ready to be in a committed relationship with someone who isn't done running the streets and dating. You CANNOT just tie someone down and think they will agree to those stipulations. People progress through wavelengths of maturity. You have the "I just started dating stage" where a person is not so clear about what they want or even if they want a relationship. There's the "I'm having too much fun dating and running wild stage" where they MAY want a relationship but they are too content in the trial-error with different people process, going out constantly, and living life without the strings attached. Their famous motto is "option is a beautiful thing". Next is the "I'm ready for a relationship stage" where they are done with running around with different people and they are ready to try out the monogamous and committed relationship. Last is the "I'm ready to be with you forever forreal stage". This is the end-all, be-all, lets be in this together 100%, I'm with you through whatever, I won't turn back from here stage. Some people don't get to that last one, but then again they probably haven't dealt with their own internal issues or defined what it is that they are looking for... The point of me stating those stages is that IN ORDER to have a successful relationship you need to identify what stage you are at and make sure the other person is on the same page. If not, it will be a clear conflict of interest and it will show in time.
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Me? I know my type and what level I am on. It is just a matter of whether the other person is on my wavelength. Simply put, I want someone who knows all my mistakes, flaws, and weaknesses and STILL thinks I'm completely amazing. But, hey, there's no rush. Everything has its time and place. Things happen for a reason. I'm not saying wake up tomorrow, go out, and search for love. All I am saying is be open to it, find the wavelength you are on, and when opportunity comes along don't pass it up. Because you might regret it. Don't let that imaginary person in your head prevent you from loving the real one right in front of you. And oh yea, ALWAYS remember that it isn't that love hurts.... its when people abuse it. So, stop being so damn scared... Love and love with a passion. 
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